


Ain't it shocking what love can do

by cherryvanilla



Series: So Emotional [2]
Category: Angels in America - Kushner
Genre: 1980s, Developing Relationship, Frottage, HIV/AIDS, Love, M/M, Making Out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-11
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-18 04:28:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29977395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cherryvanilla/pseuds/cherryvanilla
Summary: It’s been four months since they began — for lack of a better word — dating.
Relationships: Belize | Norman Arriaga/Prior Walter
Series: So Emotional [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2204937
Comments: 2
Kudos: 3





	Ain't it shocking what love can do

**Author's Note:**

> I messed up on my Whitney song usage, seeing as it came out a year after this fic is set, but I've decided to just lean heavily into it. This plus the series title are all from the same song. If ya can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em. Anyways, here’s a graphic: 

They’re making out on Belize’s bed and it’s getting a little hot and heavy. It’s been four months since they began — for lack of a better word — dating. It’s surreal to call it that when you’ve known the person for nine years. Prior has always associated dating with awkward moments and first impressions; learning someone’s likes, dislikes, passions, dreams. He and Belize already know one another practically better than they know themselves. There are no mysteries to learn, no secrets to uncover. Yet it still feels exciting. New yet not different, but also different yet not new. 

Belize nailed it when he so eloquently said, “this is just another form of us.” 

The making out they are currently undertaking is also another form of them; not new in the sense that they’ve absolutely been in this position before, but different in that it also hasn’t been like this since they started this thing.

They kiss all the time, but usually with their groins a respectable distance apart. Prior because he feels bad that he’s barely been getting hard, what with the meds and the exhaustion from said meds. Belize because he’s always hard and doesn’t want to put pressure (no pun intended) on Prior. 

They’d kissed a lot that first night in May; in the kitchen up against the wall and then on the couch. But it never went past first base and he hasn’t really since. Prior has offered to get Belize off, but he’s declined every time. 

(“Doesn’t feel right if you aren’t too.”

“Oh _please_ , like you don’t jerk it the second you leave me.”

“Excuse you, sugar, I do at least wait until I’m in the sanctity of my apartment rather than whipping it out on the subway.”

“Well thank god, I’d hate to be the only one not seeing the show.”)

There’s something different about tonight, though. For one, Prior has his leg thrown over Belize’s hip and his body feels like its about the shake apart at the seams. He always feels some form of frustrating lowkey arousal — that he can’t do anything about — when they do this, but tonight the air feels different. Full of possibility.

Prior angles in closer, fisting his hand in Belize’s tanktop. Belize groans, a low, choked off sound. Prior presses closer still, licking deeper into his mouth and bringing their crotches flush together. Belize gasps, moans, his hand sliding down Prior’s back to his ass. 

He’s hard and Prior chases the friction rather than shying away. A desperation he hasn’t encountered in nearly a year settles over him. 

“We should stop, baby,” Belize pants against the corner of his mouth, teeth dragging over the slight stubble on Prior’s chin. 

“No.” He pushes in tighter, harder, and hopes Belize is feeling what he is. 

He pulls back, stares at Prior with parted lips. “Is that…?”

“The beginnings of the world’s weakest erection? I think so.”

Belize laughs, eyes wide with wonder. He cups Prior’s cheek. “It feels good,” he whispers, and then grinds up against him, making Prior gasp. 

“Oh.” 

He’s getting incrementally harder, dick pressing up against his briefs. Belize is hot against him, even through the layers of cotton and denim separating them. 

Neither one of them had planned for this tonight. They’d just been listening to records and then they were staring into each other’s eyes and Prior had said, apropos of nothing, “I never expected you. You’ve been there forever, yet you’re still such a surprise.” 

Belize’s eyes had gone soft even as he said, “You sweet talker you,” rather dryly. Then they’d started kissing and everything suddenly felt shocking and right, despite it having been four months already. 

Maybe it’s because he’s pretty sure he’s completely over Louis now. Maybe it’s because Belize moved out of the apartment Justyn was still letting him sublet and into his own place not all that far from Prior. Belize met up with Louis on occasion but Prior wasn’t yet ready to. The first time Louis had asked how Prior was, Belize said he was “in good hands” with a lascivious wink. Prior had called him evil afterward, not so secretly loving the anguish that comment undoubtedly put Louis through. 

So now here they are, brand new leases on life and his dick finally, finally getting on board. It’s intoxicating yet terrifying. 

“You’re thinking too much,” Belize whispers against Prior’s throat, his tongue dragging up the length of his neck. 

“Mmph,” he replies, non-committedly. 

“We don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to,” Belize says in his best bedside manner voice. It infuriates him. None of the past four months have ever been about him not wanting to. It’s about his useless body cooperating and the fact that there’s also a virus in it.

“There is nothing I want more,” Prior huffs out, pulling away until their eyes meet. “Whether or not I can, physically or mentally, is another story.”

“I know—”

“You don’t!” Prior snaps, then sighs. “I’m sorry, baby, but you don’t. Being an AIDS nurse doesn’t mean you know, not for real. And don’t get me wrong, I’m glad you don’t. But that’s the other thing I have to fucking worry about — keeping you safe.” 

Belize’s face hardens. “Stop it. I know what I’ve signed up for here, girlfriend. We’re going to be as safe as we can be. And maybe you’re right, maybe I’ll never truly know what this burden feels like for you. But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to share it.”

Prior exhales, raising his hand to trace Belize’s lips. “It scares me how much I love you. How it can feel so wildly different from how I’ve always loved you.” 

Belize kisses his fingertips before grabbing hold of his hand. “Now that, ma cherie, is definitely something I can relate to.” 

Prior laughs wetly and then they’re kissing again, as desperate as it was before, like they didn’t just have a wispy heart to heart. 

Prior’s body responds to Belize’s, their torsos pressed together again while they suck at one another’s lips. Belize’s hand hooks under his thigh, hitching him closer still. 

“God,” Belize whispers, dragging his mouth to Prior’s ear and pulling on his lobe while his other hand squeezing Prior’s ass. 

“Yeah,” Prior agrees. “I think bad sex might be behind us.”

Belize snorts. “It wasn’t _that bad_ , we just couldn’t really be bothered.”

“Mmm.” He thinks back to their illicit makeout. How short yet hot it had been. It’s nothing compared to this. 

They kiss again, bodies staring a slow grind. Prior shifts so he’s on top of Belize, taking some of the pressure off his right leg. Belize’s hands immediately fall to his ass again, kneeding. Prior smiles against his lips. 

“Barely a handful for you, sorry baby.” 

Belize’s tongue swipes at his bottom lip. “Shut up, it’s enough.”

His weight isn’t as bad as it was, but it’s still not great. He feels small when pressed up against Belize like this, but he doesn’t hate it. 

Belize’s palms slide up the back of his shirt, nails scratching up his spine. 

“Oh fuck,” Prior shudders against him, moving his hips faster. He’s almost fully there now. 

“God, baby, you feel so good.” Belize throws his head back, hips pressing up, up, so tight and hot. 

Prior buries his face in his neck, licking at salty skin. “This is so high school.” 

Belize laughs. “I _wish_ I’d known you in high school. I bet I would’ve hated your WASPy trust fund ass.”

Prior bites at his skin. “Probably. I was _very_ self-absorbed and only really cared about musical theater and my skin regimen.” 

“So what’s changed? Ow! Bitch.” 

Prior laughs, soothing over the sting of his bite mark. Belize tugs on his hair, aligns their mouths together again. 

Prior’s breathing hard when they break apart again. “Can we— can we just do this, tonight?” He actuates his meaning with another push of his hips. “Is that okay?”

“Anything,” Belize says, eyes serious. 

“It doesn’t have to be _entirely_ chivalrous. We can take our pants off at least.”

So they do, rolling off one another to awkwardly reach out and unzip their pants before then shuffling out of their clothes. It’s kind of like that first time, in a way, but even the awkwardness is hot now, the air crackling with anticipation. They come back together, Belize in just his boxers, Prior in his briefs and undershirt. He’s still self-conscious most of the time regarding the lesions. 

Belize pulls back down on top of him, and Prior sits back a bit, drags his hands up over Belize’s chest.  
Belize’s eyes flare and he licks his lips. Prior leans down slowly, dragging his covered erection along Belize’s cut torso as his mouth finds the skin of belly. Belize sucks in a breath when Prior slides his tongue up his sternum and over one hardened nipple. 

“Mon dieu, tu me rends fou.” 

Prior words make his heart and stomach do flips. He circles his tongue around the taut skin of Belize’s nipple before sucking. Belize shakes beneath his mouth and it feels empowering. He almost forgot how much he liked doing this to someone, taking them apart with his mouth and hands and giving pleasure. 

He kisses his way to the other nipple, listens enthralled to the sounds falling from Belize’s lips. Belize’s fingers press into his shoulders, massaging gently. The whole time, Prior presses his dick against him in slow drags, feels Belize’s answering erection against his hip. 

Prior breaks away when Belize is gasping and pulling at his arms, trying to tug him up. Prior goes, kissing up to his neck, his lips. 

“Fuck, I want you,” Belize says, and then they’re kissing again, frantic and dirty. The words — so blunt after how cautious Belize has been with this — are as nerveracking as they are hot. He isn’t even ready to get completely naked. But he wants this, too. Wants Belize in every single way imaginable. He knows he’ll get there. And for now, it feels close to perfect. Their legs slotting together; their ankles tangling; their dicks lining up. 

Belize’s hands move down his arms then around his waist. They’re rocking together now, hard enough that the headboard is shaking against the wall. They don’t stop kissing, Prior’s hands curved over Belize’s hips, while Belize’s cup his ass again. Sweat builds at the back of his neck. He moans softly into Belize’s mouth, sucks on his tongue. Heat licks up his spine, the familiar sensation of his balls tightening (one he hasn’t felt in months) leaving him almost dizzy. 

Belize moves one hand to his back, centering him. His other squeezes Prior’s ass rhythmically as their hips work together. Belize retreats from his mouth to breathe against his lips. “That’s it, baby. Come on.” 

Prior exhales on a shudder, tips their foreheads together as his body twists down, down, the heat from Belize burning him up. 

“So close.” 

“Yeah.” Belize slides both palms under his briefs. Prior jerks into the touch, moaning loud when one finger teases between his cheeks. “Want to feel it.” 

“Oh my god.” And then he’s coming, vision whiting out like every porn cliche, his body trembling against Belize’s, legs tensing. 

Belize is breathing hard, his lips sliding back to Prior’s. They moan together as he thrusts up once, twice before spilling into his boxers. 

They keep kissing during the aftershocks, keep kissing even when Belize gently rolls them onto their sides. 

“How on earth was that so good?” He huffs out in laughter when Prior finally breaks the kiss, only to tuck himself into the curve of Belize’s neck. 

“We’re both hard up for a lay?”

Belize pinches arm. 

Prior smiles lazily against him, still trying to recatch his breath. He feels brimming with life, energy. He closes his eyes, kisses Belize’s neck. “We’re in love,” he answers seriously, quietly, even though he’s mostly sure the question had been rhetorical. 

Belize’s hand drags through his hair, comforting and familiar. “Yeah. We are.” 

End

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are love. Check out my Prior/Belize masterlist on tumblr [here](https://nextstopwonderland.tumblr.com/post/645219162306822144/priorbelize-angels-in-america-masterlist).


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